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Cravings [PG]
May. 12th, 2011 05:35 pmCravings: Wherein Rodney's pregnant thanks to a piece of ancient tech and John's playing dutifully baby daddy. ~1600 words. Warning: Mpreg and total crack.
Notes: Did I really write this? Seriously? Yesterday, I was yearning like crazy for some mpreg but I think I've written every one in the SGA fandom, so I wrote my own. I'm so sorry for even writing it. Haha.
It started, like the majority of their most ridiculous incidents, with a piece of ancient technology in an abandoned lab. At the time, they'd already been in the city for nearly five years which means, as Rodney likes to remind John loudly and as often as possible, that he really should have known better than to start poking around at seemingly harmless machines.
Especially with Rodney in the general vicinity, because while the galaxy hates them all, it seems to have a special dislike for Rodney and John as a pair. Couple.
Whatever.
Anyway. The point is, John does know better than to touch ancient technology in dark, dank labs but there was something about this that was apparently just screaming to be touched, so he touched it. And Rodney tried to slap his hand away.
Which, clearly, was enough to initialize and activate the machine.
John doesn't remember much about that except for the bright blue light that surrounded him and then Rodney before they both lost consciousness.
The first few weeks after were pretty normal--well, as normal as things ever get in a galaxy where giant, monster vampires with the ability to drain a human life through their hands are running rampant--so John and Rodney both resolved to keep the incident in the lab to themselves. There was no need worrying Carson, Elizabeth and everyone else on base over something they weren't supposed to be doing anyway.
That was their second mistake.
In their defense, everything was great for a month. They still had amazing sex on a semi-regular basis. Rodney still shouted at John over lunch while John smiled fondly at him over pudding cups. Ronon and Teyla still pretended they didn't know John and Rodney when they slipped behind the bushes off-world to make out.
Everything was perfectly normal.
That was until one morning John woke up to find Rodney hunched over his duffel bag, heaving helplessly all over John's not-so-secret stash of black t-shirts.
"Couldn't... make it... to the bathroom," Rodney had gasped in between gags. It was gross and was almost enough to make John want to puke, but instead, he played the dutiful boyfriend and joined Rodney on the edge of the bed, rubbing his back until the nausea subsided.
When Rodney was done, John took the duffel bag out onto the east pier and burned it, black t-shirts and all.
John stole Rodney's "I'm With Genius" t-shirt in retaliation. It looked better on him anyway.
---
The whole throwing up thing went on for a few days, much to John's disgust and dismay, before Rodney finally thought it a good idea to see a doctor and that was only after he very nearly passed out from manly hunger thanks to the inability to keep any food down. While he whined and cried about the smallest of paper cuts, apparently puking every three hours wasn't a huge concern.
He wondered, in addition to some intestine-eating parasite or whatever was making Rodney so sick, if he'd also been replaced with a pod person.
---
In the end, however, it was neither an intestine-eating parasite nor a pod person. In fact, the culprit, which was nestled cozily inside Rodney's fully functioning uterus--John can't wait to explain that one to the kid--wasn't even the size of a grain of rice.
"I'm what?" Rodney had shrieked, looking practically murderous as he glared from John to Carson and back to John again. "I know this is all a voodoo science anyway, but in case it's escaped you're notice, I'm a man, Carson!"
"Aye, that you are, Rodney. A man with a functioning extra body part."
It was at that point that Rodney promptly passed out.
---
"What are you doing?" Rodney asks as he walks into the bedroom, one hand rubbing his lower belly. He looks a little ridiculous in Ronon's oversized shirt and sweatpants--which John, privately, thinks aren't so oversized anymore--and the Athosian version of slippers, but John smiles fondly at him anyway.
"Just thinking about you. C'mere," he says, holding his arms out.
Rodney rolls his eyes and waddles over to the bed. "What?"
John pulls him down carefully and slides one hand under his shirt, resting his palm against Rodney's warm stomach. "You feelin' okay?"
"Other than the fact that my ankles are swollen, my back aches like you wouldn't believe and I'm too heavy to even get out of a chair by myself? Oh yeah, I'm great," Rodney snipes, pressing himself against John's side. "I don't think I've told you that I hate you this week."
"You told me on Monday."
"Well, it's Friday, so let's think of this as an early start on next week."
"You don't mean that," John says smugly, nipping playfully at Rodney's stubborn jaw.
"Unfortunately, I don't. Not entirely, anyway," Rodney sighs. He winces a little as the baby gives a particularly strong kick. "I don't think he likes you. He always does that when you touch me."
"I think it means he likes me best," John teases. Half of Rodney's face is obscured by their current position, but he can totally feel Rodney rolling his eyes.
The baby gives another hard kick and John can't help but grin. Oh yeah. He's definitely the favorite.
Pressing a kiss to Rodney's shoulder, John helps him maneuver into the only semi-comfortable position he can sleep in these days, what with the ever-expanding belly and nearly crippling back pain before he slides his hand back under Rodney's shirt.
He thinks he should be a little freaked out at the idea of Rodney pregnant with his child, but really, he thinks Rodney's never been sexier.
"You worry me sometimes," Rodney snorts, blue eyes already half closed. "And you have an obsession."
"I do," John agrees. "But you just feel so good under my hand."
"Freak," Rodney says fondly.
John knows that's Rodney speak for I love you
"You too, McKay," John grins as he closes his eyes, letting the sound of Rodney's quiet, snuffling snores lull him to sleep.
---
John jerks awake sometime later that night when he reaches for Rodney and feels the cold empty space that he should be occupying. He doesn't know what he's expecting when he opens his eyes, but it's definitely not to find the room empty. He has no idea how in the world Rodney even managed to get out of bed without waking him.
He's just about to reach for his radio and yell at Chuck to find Rodney right now God dammit when the bathroom door slides open and Rodney waddles out, looking pale and drawn as he sinks down onto the mattress.
"Did I wake you?"
"Yes," John lies because it makes him feel better than to admit he had no clue Rodney had slipped away. "Are you okay?"
"It's ridiculous that such a short walk from here to the bathroom is enough to exhaust me," he says disgustedly, one hand drawing idle patterns on his belly. "I have no clue how I ever thought I'd make it down to the Mess."
"The Mess?"
John can see the flush covering Rodney's cheeks even in the darkened room.
"I was a little hungry," he says, chin tilting up as if daring John to tease.
John doesn't. While Rodney's always been a big eater and a little soft around the middle, he knows the new gain is a sore subject.
"What do you want?"
"Doesn't matter now," Rodney says morosely. "I'll never make it."
"Rodney," John says. "C'mon. I'll go grab something. Just tell me what you want."
Rodney perks up almost immediately. "Really? You will?" He asks, like they haven't had this conversation at least once a week for the last six months.
"Yes dear," John says and fights the urge to roll his eyes.
"In that case, I'll make a list."
John just sighs.
---
When he returns to their quarters, fully stacked tray balanced in his hands, he thinks the door open and slips into the room to find Rodney practically salivating.
"Took you long enough!" He barks, making 'gimme hands' at John.
"It took awhile to scrounge all this stuff up. You do realize they don't exactly have the Athosian wanna-be pizza with not-quite-anchovies just laying around, right? And it's not like there's a mini-mart down the street I can go to."
"Yes well..." Rodney trails off as John sets a tray on his lap. John can his stomach grumble in anticipation and he actually has to look away as Rodney shoves the first slice into his mouth. He's down for strange cravings, but while Earth-style anchovies are gross, these are at least ten times worse.
"Why can't you ever want anything that actually tastes good? You know, share the wealth?"
"I can't help that your unborn child has strange tastes," Rodney sniffs, licking his fingers clean. "I would be willing to share this, you know. If you want some."
John would rather eat his own arm.
"I think I'll pass. But thanks, buddy."
He settles in beside Rodney and waits. It doesn't take long for him to finish the pizza or the two chocolate pudding cups and when he's done, he hands the empty tray to John and settles back down against the pillows.
"Better?"
"Much," Rodney says, sighing contentedly. John sets the tray on the beside table and rolls over, dropping an arm around Rodney's expanding waist. Rodney practically purrs in response. "Mmm... thanks for taking care of me."
"Like I really have a choice," John snorts, but he leans over and kisses Rodney anyway."Get some sleep, McKay."
Rodney's already well on his way, so John buries his nose against Rodney's neck and closes his eyes, allowing the gentle kicking of their baby under his hand lull him to sleep.
Notes: Did I really write this? Seriously? Yesterday, I was yearning like crazy for some mpreg but I think I've written every one in the SGA fandom, so I wrote my own. I'm so sorry for even writing it. Haha.
It started, like the majority of their most ridiculous incidents, with a piece of ancient technology in an abandoned lab. At the time, they'd already been in the city for nearly five years which means, as Rodney likes to remind John loudly and as often as possible, that he really should have known better than to start poking around at seemingly harmless machines.
Especially with Rodney in the general vicinity, because while the galaxy hates them all, it seems to have a special dislike for Rodney and John as a pair. Couple.
Whatever.
Anyway. The point is, John does know better than to touch ancient technology in dark, dank labs but there was something about this that was apparently just screaming to be touched, so he touched it. And Rodney tried to slap his hand away.
Which, clearly, was enough to initialize and activate the machine.
John doesn't remember much about that except for the bright blue light that surrounded him and then Rodney before they both lost consciousness.
The first few weeks after were pretty normal--well, as normal as things ever get in a galaxy where giant, monster vampires with the ability to drain a human life through their hands are running rampant--so John and Rodney both resolved to keep the incident in the lab to themselves. There was no need worrying Carson, Elizabeth and everyone else on base over something they weren't supposed to be doing anyway.
That was their second mistake.
In their defense, everything was great for a month. They still had amazing sex on a semi-regular basis. Rodney still shouted at John over lunch while John smiled fondly at him over pudding cups. Ronon and Teyla still pretended they didn't know John and Rodney when they slipped behind the bushes off-world to make out.
Everything was perfectly normal.
That was until one morning John woke up to find Rodney hunched over his duffel bag, heaving helplessly all over John's not-so-secret stash of black t-shirts.
"Couldn't... make it... to the bathroom," Rodney had gasped in between gags. It was gross and was almost enough to make John want to puke, but instead, he played the dutiful boyfriend and joined Rodney on the edge of the bed, rubbing his back until the nausea subsided.
When Rodney was done, John took the duffel bag out onto the east pier and burned it, black t-shirts and all.
John stole Rodney's "I'm With Genius" t-shirt in retaliation. It looked better on him anyway.
---
The whole throwing up thing went on for a few days, much to John's disgust and dismay, before Rodney finally thought it a good idea to see a doctor and that was only after he very nearly passed out from manly hunger thanks to the inability to keep any food down. While he whined and cried about the smallest of paper cuts, apparently puking every three hours wasn't a huge concern.
He wondered, in addition to some intestine-eating parasite or whatever was making Rodney so sick, if he'd also been replaced with a pod person.
---
In the end, however, it was neither an intestine-eating parasite nor a pod person. In fact, the culprit, which was nestled cozily inside Rodney's fully functioning uterus--John can't wait to explain that one to the kid--wasn't even the size of a grain of rice.
"I'm what?" Rodney had shrieked, looking practically murderous as he glared from John to Carson and back to John again. "I know this is all a voodoo science anyway, but in case it's escaped you're notice, I'm a man, Carson!"
"Aye, that you are, Rodney. A man with a functioning extra body part."
It was at that point that Rodney promptly passed out.
---
"What are you doing?" Rodney asks as he walks into the bedroom, one hand rubbing his lower belly. He looks a little ridiculous in Ronon's oversized shirt and sweatpants--which John, privately, thinks aren't so oversized anymore--and the Athosian version of slippers, but John smiles fondly at him anyway.
"Just thinking about you. C'mere," he says, holding his arms out.
Rodney rolls his eyes and waddles over to the bed. "What?"
John pulls him down carefully and slides one hand under his shirt, resting his palm against Rodney's warm stomach. "You feelin' okay?"
"Other than the fact that my ankles are swollen, my back aches like you wouldn't believe and I'm too heavy to even get out of a chair by myself? Oh yeah, I'm great," Rodney snipes, pressing himself against John's side. "I don't think I've told you that I hate you this week."
"You told me on Monday."
"Well, it's Friday, so let's think of this as an early start on next week."
"You don't mean that," John says smugly, nipping playfully at Rodney's stubborn jaw.
"Unfortunately, I don't. Not entirely, anyway," Rodney sighs. He winces a little as the baby gives a particularly strong kick. "I don't think he likes you. He always does that when you touch me."
"I think it means he likes me best," John teases. Half of Rodney's face is obscured by their current position, but he can totally feel Rodney rolling his eyes.
The baby gives another hard kick and John can't help but grin. Oh yeah. He's definitely the favorite.
Pressing a kiss to Rodney's shoulder, John helps him maneuver into the only semi-comfortable position he can sleep in these days, what with the ever-expanding belly and nearly crippling back pain before he slides his hand back under Rodney's shirt.
He thinks he should be a little freaked out at the idea of Rodney pregnant with his child, but really, he thinks Rodney's never been sexier.
"You worry me sometimes," Rodney snorts, blue eyes already half closed. "And you have an obsession."
"I do," John agrees. "But you just feel so good under my hand."
"Freak," Rodney says fondly.
John knows that's Rodney speak for I love you
"You too, McKay," John grins as he closes his eyes, letting the sound of Rodney's quiet, snuffling snores lull him to sleep.
---
John jerks awake sometime later that night when he reaches for Rodney and feels the cold empty space that he should be occupying. He doesn't know what he's expecting when he opens his eyes, but it's definitely not to find the room empty. He has no idea how in the world Rodney even managed to get out of bed without waking him.
He's just about to reach for his radio and yell at Chuck to find Rodney right now God dammit when the bathroom door slides open and Rodney waddles out, looking pale and drawn as he sinks down onto the mattress.
"Did I wake you?"
"Yes," John lies because it makes him feel better than to admit he had no clue Rodney had slipped away. "Are you okay?"
"It's ridiculous that such a short walk from here to the bathroom is enough to exhaust me," he says disgustedly, one hand drawing idle patterns on his belly. "I have no clue how I ever thought I'd make it down to the Mess."
"The Mess?"
John can see the flush covering Rodney's cheeks even in the darkened room.
"I was a little hungry," he says, chin tilting up as if daring John to tease.
John doesn't. While Rodney's always been a big eater and a little soft around the middle, he knows the new gain is a sore subject.
"What do you want?"
"Doesn't matter now," Rodney says morosely. "I'll never make it."
"Rodney," John says. "C'mon. I'll go grab something. Just tell me what you want."
Rodney perks up almost immediately. "Really? You will?" He asks, like they haven't had this conversation at least once a week for the last six months.
"Yes dear," John says and fights the urge to roll his eyes.
"In that case, I'll make a list."
John just sighs.
---
When he returns to their quarters, fully stacked tray balanced in his hands, he thinks the door open and slips into the room to find Rodney practically salivating.
"Took you long enough!" He barks, making 'gimme hands' at John.
"It took awhile to scrounge all this stuff up. You do realize they don't exactly have the Athosian wanna-be pizza with not-quite-anchovies just laying around, right? And it's not like there's a mini-mart down the street I can go to."
"Yes well..." Rodney trails off as John sets a tray on his lap. John can his stomach grumble in anticipation and he actually has to look away as Rodney shoves the first slice into his mouth. He's down for strange cravings, but while Earth-style anchovies are gross, these are at least ten times worse.
"Why can't you ever want anything that actually tastes good? You know, share the wealth?"
"I can't help that your unborn child has strange tastes," Rodney sniffs, licking his fingers clean. "I would be willing to share this, you know. If you want some."
John would rather eat his own arm.
"I think I'll pass. But thanks, buddy."
He settles in beside Rodney and waits. It doesn't take long for him to finish the pizza or the two chocolate pudding cups and when he's done, he hands the empty tray to John and settles back down against the pillows.
"Better?"
"Much," Rodney says, sighing contentedly. John sets the tray on the beside table and rolls over, dropping an arm around Rodney's expanding waist. Rodney practically purrs in response. "Mmm... thanks for taking care of me."
"Like I really have a choice," John snorts, but he leans over and kisses Rodney anyway."Get some sleep, McKay."
Rodney's already well on his way, so John buries his nose against Rodney's neck and closes his eyes, allowing the gentle kicking of their baby under his hand lull him to sleep.
